First blog

Hey guys,welcome to my blog. If you’re reading this you’re one of the websites first visitors (not that it really matters, because time is an illusion)
I thought I’d start things off by introducing this website,a place for fictional/non fictional pieces of ‘satire‘ but first we must get through that awful first post everyone has on a website.
I HATE that awkward first post,where you don’t really know what to say? So to help break the ice:
Here are 7 facts about me 🙂

•My favorite animal is a sleddy (half sloth half teddy bear)

•I love seafood

•I own a 100 piece collection of a miniature town set with each person ,made to look like Steve buscemi

•When I was 12 my mother left me in a Walmart asda,which was terrifying; I found a uniform &had no other choice but to pretend I worked there for a week until she came back

•I brush my teeth every 25 or so minutes

•I’m dead inside

•A number ending in 578 keeps calling me, I try to answer but to no avail. When I pick up,the phone is blank and just says ” вы перешли во внутреннюю сферу Okama культа , подготовки к инициации ”
I don’t know what this means,please help.